New Directions

OK there have been several big changes in our lives and me being a stay at home mom now is the biggest of them. I have decided to also use this blog now in a way I have always wanted to. I am going to share some of my favorite music. New and old. Artists you have heard of and some you probably haven't. I have wanted to do this for awhile now and it seems like as good of a time as any. Hope you enjoy the tunes and some of my thoughts to go along with them.


So let's get started. The first song...no surprise it has to be Brandi Carlile. I chose Dying Day for the first song. I don't know why but I have been drawn to this song since I heard them play it live over 2 years ago. In fact before the album came out with the song on it I watched a YouTube video of it everyday to get my fix.

Catching up

Well I haven't posted since November which is what chemo will do to you. Let's see if I can catch you up quickly. I had 3 Taxol treatments which didn't make me nauseous but did cause bone pain which was no fun. Plus it turns out I can't handle narcotics very well so the pain meds made me sick. The doctor finally gave me a child's dose of pain meds and everything was better. So Kyle and I went in the week of Christmas for my last chemo ever and because of some side effects in my hands & feet we all decided to cancel the last treatment. Taxol can cause permanent nerve damage in your extremities and I was having numbness in my feet and also dropping things like my toothbrush, soap, etc. So the choice was to have the last Taxol and risk not having feeling in my fingers & toes for the rest of my life or not do the last treatment and hope all the cancer cells were obliterated by my 7 other chemo treatments.. Luckily for me my tumors responded so well to chemo that this was an easy decision for the doctor and Kyle and I agreed. I need my hands!

Kyle and I celebrated our 13th wedding anniversary (well if you count me making meatloaf at home & us giving the kids a bath as celebrating which we do). Gives the whole "In sickness and in health" vow new meaning this year...

My surgeries have been scheduled for January 25th which is great and terrifying all at the same time. It's 6 1/2 hours of surgery with three surgeons...nuts. But once it's over and I am recovered it's one more step through this cancer process. There will be some joy in knowing that by the afternoon of January 25th I will be "Cancer Free" for the first time in a long time. Some people celebrate that day for years so come. I am not sure how I feel about that but I will let you know when I get there.

So for now I have time when I am feeling better than I have in awhile to continue building up my strength, play with my family,sleep, go see Liza Minelli in concert (my anniversary gift from Kyle and even better he is going with me even though I am pretty sure he would rather cut off his arm! Love that man...he gets me), and try to see some friends who have been so good to us during this process. Here is to a month of living and not dwelling on the surgery or the aftermath.

Last Week...

It's been quite the week for me...I did get to experience the Taxol bone pain and it was no fun. Pain is not cool...and when I finally figured out the pills to take to make it a little better they knocked me out and then made me sick to my stomach. So much for Taxol being an "easy" chemo. I guess when it comes right down to it poison is still poison! But it seems like it should be a little easier than this. Combine that with me falling down a few stairs at our house (which ironically made me feel sore again!) and you have my week in a nutshell. The good news is mom is arriving here in moments for TWO WEEKS...I can't wait and the neither can the rest of my family.

Here's to having someone else there to help with everything but more importantly to take our minds off what we are going through right now. 

Taxol

Well yesterday was Chemo #5 and my first Taxol treatment. I have one observation...I do not do well on that much Benadryl! They give you a bag of benadryl dripped into your system before they start the Taxol to help alleviate any weird allergic reactions. But that much Benadryl made me feel like I had just consumed a half bottle of tequila. I seriously almost fell over trying to stand up! So that combined with 3 hours of weird meds being dripped into your body made for a long, tiring day. I also learned I shouldn't be allowed to cook dinner after Taxol treatments. I tried to cook three simple things for dinner rice, green beans, chicken tenders...and ruined all of them. Kyle and I ate the chicken but it wasn't very good at all. So from now on no cooking after these meds! So far mytaste buds have gone wacky again and I have had a little bit of numbness coming & going in my hands but no bone aches yet so that's good.

Now if only I can get some sleep tonight since they make you take 10 steroid pills in 12 hours before this type of chemo I was WIDE awake last night and I am paying for it today.

Halfway done with Chemo...

So yesterday I had my last A/C chemo. It's wasn't a fun day...let's just say they were WAY behind and I went in at 10:30am and we left at 4. But I got the last of that treatment and I couldn't be happier. I know Taxol has it's own brand of fun side effects but I say bring them on!

 So my counts are still pretty low (which is to be expected when they are pumping you full of poison) so the possibility of a bad infect in the next 2 weeks is ever-present but you can't live waiting to feel bad so today I feel pretty good and I am rolling with it. If only I could have a long nap all would be perfect. What I am really hoping for (although I know it's a lot to ask) is that the delayed nausea I usually experience stays mild or doesn't show up on it's normal day since Friday (when it would start to appear) is Charley's 1st birthday. I already decided not to go with a party since she doesn't care and it's too much to pull off right now but I still want to be feeling well so I can see her open a few little presents, make her some beautiful cupcakes (I have decided to make her the jumbo cupcakes in my homemade white almond cake with homemade pink butter cream frosting & sprinkles-classic yet beautiful), and watch her smash that cupcake to bits! Plus it's Halloween this weekend and Truman is very excited about it this year. I am not sure he really understands but the kids will flip out when he realizes candy is involved!

Speaking of sweets yesterday Kyle wanted the traditional post-chemo cupcake too so last night he had the Strawberry cupcake with the strawberry cream cheese icing & I had the "Happy Birthday to Me" white cake butter cream icing. Then for tonight I have "Cuckoo for Coconut"...very exciting!

Once again....

So sorry for the complete lack of posts again. I was once again taken down by this cold that has hung on now for over 2 weeks. It got really bad again with fever, cough, etc. and we tried a few medicines, had a chest ex-ray to rule out pneumonia (which it wasn't thank goodness) and basically had to just wait to get better. My doctor explained it like this...what is a simple cold in my kids with a runny nose and cough can turn into this horrible illness for me...and there is little you can try to do to stop it. I drink lots of fluids, wash my hands and use anti-bacterial wipes all day long and hope to pick up as few germs as possible!

So I am feeling better but have noticed things like I have no stamina all the sudden. For me it's a big deal to feed the kids & eat dinner with Kyle and then I have to sit down for awhile. It's really crazy as a person who had not had an issue with this before to have to realize you have limitations. But I also know when I push too much then I feel even worse so you have to listen to your body.

Monday is my last A/C chemo...not my last chemo ever because now I switch to Taxol for 4 more treatments but I am celebrating anyway. A/C chemo stinks....I am more than happy to know this will be the last time I have to feel these certain side effects! Now I know that Taxol is it's own bag of worms and we will deal with that when we get there but I will be one happy girl if I can ditch the delayed nausea after this last treatment. So funny to be excited going into what will probably be a yucky, hard treatment (effects of chemo build with each round so the 4th round of A/C traditionally is not a good one according to most people who have been through it) but I have learned to celebrate each milestone and this is one of them. Thank goodness I still have cupcake money left so it can be celebrated with CAKE!

Guess who can walk now?

So last night as Kyle and I were eating dinner Charley pulled herself up on Kyle's knees and then just let go & took 7 steps! I know I have one kid who has done this already but I tell you that moment is always amazing and I am so glad I was around to see it. Now since then she has pushed herself up, takes one step, falls over and then looks around like "How did I do that again?" but as all you parents know she will be moving at mock speed way too soon for my taste!

It's hard to believe she will be 1 in just a few weeks.